my favorite song

A song for our memories

Played in the wrong key

A symphony of heartbreak

I keep on repeat

A lullaby of sadness

Made just for me

My favorite song

That's killing me

HB

Lets run away to the cosmos

Let's hold hands in the stars

We can live on the moon

And make love on mars

Lets leave this world behind

Just you and me together

Slow dancing in the clouds

We'll Carve our names in constellations 

Like lovers would a tree

And make the universe remember 

That there was a you and me

Thoughts of a narcissist

Forgive me but remember ..

I will eventually hurt you 

Forgive me but remember all the things you shouldn't forget..

Forgive me but dont forget ..

That I am a user

Forgive me but dont forget..

That I will ruin u for anyone else

Forgive me but dont forget..

That my selfishness will cause u pain

Forgive me but dont forget..

That my intensity will overshadow your shine

Forgive me but dont forget..

That my darkness will blot out your light

Forgive me but dont forget..

That my eyes will roam making you feel less

Forgive me but dont forget..

That I need you more than I need the rest 

Forgive me but dont forget..

That you will always come back and that u hold my heart

Forgive me but dont forget..

You belong here with me in the dark

Dear Me,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for not loving you the way you should've been loved. I'm sorry I put someone else's comfort above yours. I tormented you with thoughts of other women and their beauty instead of appreciating yours. I kept you up at night wondering if you were enough. I beat you down instead of lifting you up. I cut away at your self esteem like a jealous boyfriend to insecure to admit his own fualts. I criticized your scars and stretch marks instead of celebrating the lives you so selflessly created. I took your comfort by exposing parts that you didn't want shown. I let the societal pressure of being independent take away from your happiness. I should've been your first friend, your protector and your biggest fan. I know I failed you in the most basic ways possible. For that I'm sorry.

Dear Me,

 I know the relationship we built is nothing but ash and rubble. I know you have no reason to trust me, But I am trying.. I am working on being the person you need me to be. Just don't give up on me yet. 

                   Sincerely,

                          Me

Stitch by stitch

I wonder if you see me

If you see me and how hard I am trying

The urge to give up and the possibility of failure Is a never-ending pull from the bottom of the abyss 

But I’ll keep myself together for you

Each crack and broken piece carefully knotted and glued to make a whole

The pieces of my soul slowly leaking out of every crevice

Hoping and wishing for the day I give in

For the time when my demons finally say they win

But each time I get closer to calling it done

I sit and remember how far I have come.

And each time I fall I pull myself up,
I grab the needle and choose a thread

watch me sew my broken pieces back together again

I scoop up the remainder of my soul from the ground

And shove it back in and stuff it all down

I fill it back up and try not to drown

Then I sit and I wait with my needle and thread

For the next tiny rip in my soul to begin.

A Sirens Lullaby

why fall with the stars

when you can float with the sea

caress your soul with sea foam and breeze

you can hide from your sins beneath the ocean waves

or, lay at the bottom and dream of better days

stroll through the waters loving embrace

rest on the coral find peace in this place

watch the day fade to twilight

from beneath the oceans depth

give yourself to the water

it always knows best..

hide from your demons below the high tide

laugh with the waves

and fly with riptides

and when the funs over

and you are needing the rest

let the sea be your burial 

Close your eyes and just rest.

Why fall with the stars when you can float with the sea??

the stars are far nicer than the sea will ever be..

the stars are for dreamers the sea is for pain

the stars light your fire but the sea kills the flame.

Where is home to you...

I can picture a future with anyone that runs their fingers through my hair.

call me pretty and I'm as good as yours.

with your scent on my skin you perfume me with your lust.

paint me with our futures lost

dress me in your adoration and finish with a bow

I'm your pretty little package, all set,ready to go

tie me to your side forever with your good morning text

I'm a greedy for any attention I will get.

you have always been my home, my addiction

running through my veins

you dive away the demons

and numb all of the pain

your the pleasure principle incarnate

The definition of sin

 you build me up to break me down

over and over again

rip and tear till I am nothing but parts

puzzle pieces that will never fit

drag me back into your keeping

with the promise of your kiss.